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| l Friday, August 30, 2002 |
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I hired out a VHS copy of Casablanca today. I'm not game to watch it just yet, though. I haven't been game to watch it since I first read a certain piece of fanfiction that pretty much ruined the film for me -- a piece of fanfiction, I might add, that I went into blindly assuming that the lead couple would be one far more desirable, given that Rick and Ilsa are one of the more well-known fictitious couples I've always associated with my ship of choice.
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now I'm just terrified I'll watch the film and start yelling at Ilsa to stay with Laszlo -- doesn't she know they're soulmates and lobsters and meant to be?! For crying out loud, can't she see that they're building Rick into a pale imitation of him?!?! The thing is... the thing is, I've always been happy to read other ships for Buffy and Angel. I've read B/Spike, B/Faith, A/Spike, A/Willow, B/Xander, B/Willow, B/Wes, B/Oz... okay, so I've never really read A/C in my time in fandom, and I read B/Other much more easily than A/Other, and most of the time I cope better when a lot of respect is paid to B/A. I hate it when it's totally dismissed... or worse, completely ravaged **in words**. When it's bashed in the fic, I hate it. I won't read it. I've read season-4 missing scenes etc. etc. -- 'One Lucky Guy' by HonorH, set during Into The Woods, comes to mind. I adore B/R fics where B/A is the main ship. But *that* fic has pretty much ruined one of my favourite films, and I didn't even read all of it. It's like those bloody B/Sers who point out all the ways Han and Leia are like Buffy and Spike (because Leia was always in love with Han and just had to come around) and then I watch The Empire Strikes Back and I can *see* what they're talking about in the way Leia and Han interact after Han comes in from the snow on Hoth, before they know Luke's missing. The scene in the corridor? It's totally Spike-stalking-Buffy-in-season-5 (think Crush). Of course, Buffy wouldn't have kissed Xander to try and prove him wrong, but that's another story. I can overlook the stupid B/S arguments and see Leia and Han, though. Leia and Han were a healthy relationship. Han wasn't stalking Leia. They didn't have NC-17 scenes in The Empire Strikes Back. But I'll try and watch Casablanca again. I refuse to let A/C ruin it for me. And hopefully now I've gotten this out of my system, I'll be able to. If not, Yahtzee will be getting a dirty email from me <g> :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:40 PM [x] :: |
| l Thursday, August 29, 2002 |
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Wheeee!!! Just got an email from Cynamin that I've been nominated in the Halo Awards... Attack of the Killer Monks, of course, for Best Humour. Wheeeeee!!! I love getting nominated for awards... I doubt I'll win, given the other contenders, but wheeee!!!
And no, I'm not just being negative, given that Yahtzee and Ducks are both nominated in the same catagory. I was nominated in the last rounds, too, although it's been rewritten since then... I rightfully lost to Days of Our Unlives. But in the meantime, I'll celebrate/bask in the nomination. I don't often get them, so when I do... Wheeeeeee!!!!! :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 11:59 PM [x] :: |
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Erm... okay... I just got an email from N.M.Kelby, who's book I was raving on about a month or so back. I never contacted her... suddenly seeing the power of the blog...
:: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:19 PM [x]
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We've got the most nummy ice-cream on the face of the planet in the fridge at the moment.
Blue Ribbon Carnival, Very Berry flavour. Words cannot describe how delicious this is. It's vanilla Blue Ribbon ice-cream with berry flavoured ice-cream and sorbet and syrup all winding through it and... it's just the most nummy thing on the face of the planet. The caramel is (almost) just as yummy, leading me to consider writing to them, demanding they bring out a cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip variety. It's worth a shot, right..? I have to go and get some veggies to make up my spaghetti sauce tomorrow... am thinking I'll take the opportunity to grab snack-food for babble chat (yes, I think about this sort of thing. I need a life) due to the fact that if I have to redo coffee or get lunch in the middle I get *the look*. The look of 'you're *still* online?! Aren't you going to do anything *else* today?!?!'. I might also take the opportunity to get more ice-cream... who needs weight-loss, anyway?! (just don't tell the scales) Your love is better than ice-cream, better than anything else that I've tried? Pffftt. Sarah McLachlan has obviously never tried *this* ice-cream. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:16 PM [x] :: |
| l Wednesday, August 28, 2002 |
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Every weeknight over here at 6pm, there's an episode of The Simpsons shown.
Tonight, one year on from the Tampa, was the episode with proposition 24, in which all of Springfield's ills are blamed on illegal immigrants, and the proposition is to deport them all. Not that the timing was political at *all*. But how sad is it when a government can get into (or in this case, stay in) office on the plot of a Simpsons episode?! Kasey Chambers in on The Panel. Love that woman. Matt Damon was, too... very funny. And Dawny, have you got The Batwoman in position of the day? Because I think that deserves one of it's own... and nominations of merit for anyone who can manage it. Because... umm... yeah. That's possible... :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:28 PM [x] :: |
| l Tuesday, August 27, 2002 |
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The RAAF (Royal Australian Air Force) Roulettes are stationed an hour and 45 minutes away by car from where I live, and, on occasions, practise over my house.
Like today. It's pretty spectacular, watching them fly in formation, looping and crossing... four of them flying straight whilst the other loops around the trail behind them... I was walking as they started and everyone came out of offices, shops, motels and caravan parks to watch. Although I will admit to a moment of blind panic as I walked and all I could hear were these massive aircraft noises flying *very* low. Skimming-trees low. And I couldn't see them... could only reassure myself that terrorists were *not* going to target the community health centre in a town with the only thing going for it being it's pretty beach and the tourist industry. And strangely enough, I took comfort in the fact that there was an army air base just down the road. "I can't stand to fly/I'm not that naïve/men weren't meant to ride/with clouds between their knees..." :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:25 PM [x] :: |
| l Monday, August 26, 2002 |
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Click to subscribe to maudlin_poetry <subliminal message>Go visit my website. Go visit Maudlin Poetry</subliminal message> Are you going? Please go. Because I just made a MAJOR update thing and I'm very proud of myself. You would be too if you'd just typed up all 44 Sonnets from the Portugese, 19 poems by Pablo Neruda, a poem by A.S. Pushkin (Russian author), and one poem by Gwen Harwood. Not only that, but I put a filk-thing I've had sitting on my computer since the start of season 6/3 on the site, too... Another Hole in the Plot, part 2 (to the tune of Pink Floyd's Another Hole in the Wall, part 2... you know the one, "we don't need no education..."). I had the other stuff already typed up earlier in the week, but today was taken up by typing up 44 sonnets. And do they ever fit Angel!! My God, Elizabeth Barrett was convinced that she wasn't good enough for Robert Browning, and, especially the early ones, it could have been Angel speaking with all his "I'm not worthy"-stuff. The Blair Witch Project screened over here last night. Today at the dinner table, brother N announces that said film is now officially the second film ever to scare him. The first? Who Framed Roger Rabbit. And we're not talking about minor scare-age here. We had to wipe the video and throw it away. It was the eyes at the end... we hid the TV guide for years whenever that film was on TV, because that would be enough to give him nightmares. I need a life. I was doing a Google search today for my name... I sometimes do that, see if Smurfette is getting any web-time. I have to narrow it down a bit, so I combine it with Buffy to get rid of most of the Smurfy-sites. Although there's an alarming number of fanfics where Smurfette goes to Sunnydale... Like I said, I need a life. I can't do that for my real name, because there's no point whatsoever. I think there was someone by my name on the Mayflower, not to mention in the Salem witch-trials. I kid you not. If not the Mayflower, some other early-ship there. And no one knows much about the my-name in Salem, apparently, because there's all these webpages stating that... uh... no one knows much about her, but here's what we *do* know. Anyway. I did the "Smurfette"+"Buffy" thing and I'm on someone's quotes page with their blog-thing!! Yay me!! Attack of the Killer Monks, actually, but me because I wrote it, so yay!! "Angel angrily paced into the kitchen, and returned again. "I still can't believe you guys would believe that I would spend three months trying to come to terms with my grief, and then come home and start flirting with Cordelia -- and once again I say, *CORDELIA* -- when the love of my unlife had just died. She DIED. And I start to flirt with Cordelia. With *Cordelia*." Yay me! I get a happy when I see something like that. And I've used the quotes below it in sigs on a regular basis, too... Adia's one about how Angel had BETTER be alive because Buffy was going to kill him over Cordelia from Surfacing, and Gem's Gone with the Wind example of why B/A were going to wind up together. It just gave me a happy to see myself on a quotes page. Even if I think the lines by Fred about Moira and Kye-Rumption were better ;p Is it sad when you read LotR and think J.R.R. Tolkien misspelt Moria? In other side-notes, does anyone know of major cosmetic companies who claim to make your skin "glow"? I've got Revlon Skinlights ("I used to think I had superpowers. I still do. Check this out; I can glow") and there was something on Danoz Shopping Direct the other day... just something that claims to make people's skin glow. There's JossBot goodness in it. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 11:52 PM [x] :: |
| l Sunday, August 25, 2002 |
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I'm trying to decide whether to offer my computer or the modem up for a ritual sacrifice to the Computer Gods. Not Bill Gates, the Computer Anti-Christ, but whoever looks after things, because they're ignoring me. As usual.
Brother N. is apparently getting a lap-top for uni <mutter, grumble>... I'd consider bribery for an exchange, but... well... money for bribery, and the fact that my Buffy folder is 160MB, and I don't wanna have to transfer it all over. I was going to update Maudlin Poetry this evening, but Liquid2k doesn't seem to want to work. So I'll do that tomorrow... I've got ALL 44 Sonnets from the Portuguese ready to go, which gave me a happy when I finished typing them. My mother is worried. And really showed her lack of understanding at my fandom life. Brother H. (the 15-year-old) had a friend over this afternoon, and they were looking at LotR... H likes Legolas the best, Mum made a comment about Aragorn, I made a comment about Aragorn/Boromir, and all hell broke loose. I should have learnt by now that Mum doesn't get it when I look at something that isn't presented openly in a show, and she doesn't get it when I obsess. Most people in RL don't, but they put up with me. Mum just thinks I'm crazy and starts arguing and is generally disdainful of me. Why do I still bring it up? I'm thick-skulled and... it takes a while for something to sink in with me. I think I also live with the misguided belief that I can talk to my parents about most aspects of my life... which I can, just nothing I might sit on a computer for. They don't get my internet obsession. She gave me hell tonight for spending yesterday in the chat... they should have learnt by now that it's my socialisation for the weekend. They wouldn't complain if I went into town for the day, but spending the day talking to friends when it's a computer screen... well... Sometimes my parents and I get along great. Sometimes we don't. At the moment it's up and down. I was able to spend time with Mum quite happily at 9.30pm tonight... it's just at 7.30pm we were about ready to tear each other's throats out. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 11:23 PM [x] :: |
| l Saturday, August 24, 2002 |
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Blogger. Sucks. Arse.
That is all. Email from RAWA: RAWA Interview with some prostitutes RAWA, June 2002 Among the outcomes of more than two decades of war and destruction in Afghanistan, especially in the last decade when the reign of terror of Jehadi fundamentalists and their brother-in-creed Taliban were prevailing over the sky of our country, prostitution among our widows is a tragedy that can never be forgotten. Unfortunately, as prostitution is illicit and secretive, there are no exact facts and figures to show the actual number of prostitutes. However, in keeping with the reports of RAWA members who are in touch with some of them, the number definitely exceeds thousands. One of the projects of RAWA inside Afghanistan is to help the hundreds of thousands of miserable widows, some of whom have turned to prostitution and to rescue them from this filthy occupation. Fortunately, our members have succeeded in getting in touch with many of them and enrolling them in literacy and tailoring courses. Those women who are taking RAWA’s tailoring courses are given one sewing machine free, so that by using it they can stand on their own feet and come back from prostitution to the normal and honorable life which is the desire of every woman. It is worth mentioning that in the past few months RAWA has distributed food to a number of these women. Recently in June 2002, two members of RAWA in Kabul interviewed some of these women and recorded their conversation on video. Below we share a few translated parts of the videos. The pain and misery of most of these women are alike; the majority of them have lost their husbands at the hands of fundamentalists in the war and had no other way of life except to turn to prostitution. Their only desire is to find some sort of help and to return to a life worthy of human beings. Due to request of those women who have been interviewed, we have censored their pictures and have used abbreviations instead of their full names. MH: She is a widow around 33 years old. She lost her husband four years ago in the war and has six children who are between 4 to 14 years of age. She was crying as she said: "Because of my children I could not even commit suicide. For the last couple of months I have not paid rent on the house and every day the owner is threatening that he will evict us by force. I have not paid off the electricity bill yet, and make excuses every time the clerk comes for money. During the regime of the Taliban, as there was no other way to make a living, I turned to prostitution. I was in contact with a Talib whose name was Sakhi Dad; he gave me ten lack (one lack=100,000) Afghanis (US$1=42,000 Afghanis) per week. However, six months ago, Sakhi Dad left Kabul and I am in great trouble. My only hope is to find a job. I regret being a prostitute but it was the hunger of my children that pushed me to this. My older daughter is in the fourth class and I have tried hard to keep her ignorant of these facts". FA: She is a 35-year old widow with five children. She lost her husband in the war between the Taliban and the Wahdat Party in Dara Soaf. Her eyes were full of pain and sorrow and with her eleven year old daughter by her side she said: "My husband was a farmer; while he was working in the field the Taliban attacked, killed people and destroyed the farms. They killed my husband in his field, and destroyed our houses. They killed my brother-in-law in the same spot. We came to Kabul. There was no other way to feed my five children except prostitution. My eleven-year old daughter knows about my contacts. I have arranged an engagement for her with a boy about whom I don't know much, so that she would not face what I am going through now. My husband's family is poor and can't help. I am shattered and very worried about the fate of my children. NH: She looks about 53 years old. She is from Paghman Province. She is the mother of six children; her older daughter is eleven years old. She is saying: "I studied in school till the eighth class, but when I got married my husband did not allow me to study further. Two years after we got married my husband became addicted to drugs. He beat me daily and made life bitter for me. He wanted me to work and earn money to feed the children. When I was seven months pregnant he divorced me. I begged and washed clothes but that was not enough to fulfill our necessities. Nine months ago I turned to prostitution. I know that my life and my children's lives will be affected; if any one wants to help, I will leave this disgraced occupation without any hesitation. FH: She says: "I am from Shamali. When the Taliban attacked our village, they destroyed everything. Everyone escaped to somewhere. The Taliban killed my father while he was working in the field. I moved to Kabul with my three children who are from three to seven years old. From that day my brother and husband are missing; perhaps they might be among the dead. In Kabul I was working as a servant in one of the houses from where I started prostituting. Nowadays I am in touch with a jeweler who gives me money when I visit him. I am suffering from stomach pain and do not like to have sexual relations with too many people. RA: She is the mother of three children, the oldest one five years old. When I asked her age, she smiled and said: "I have forgotten my name and you are asking about my age; perhaps 21". She is also from Shamali and has almost the same story as "FH". "I lost touch with my husband in Shamali. We escaped to Kabul, but on the way there, the Taliban separated men from women. My husband belonged to Panjsher and my guess is he might have been killed there. I was two months pregnant when we left our ruined village. I have been a prostitute for the last five months; there is a woman who guides me in this field. I have contact with a number of men who give me five to six lack Afghanis each week. My mother is a widow, too, but she doesn't know about what I am doing. I regret what I am doing but there is no other way out. SH: I am from Panjsher valley but lived most of the time in Kabul. I had three children; two girls and one boy. I had a good life with my husband. But after seven years of togetherness my life took a new turn. Recently my two daughters died due to chickenpox. My husband blamed me for their deaths and used this as a pretext to leave me. He didn't take his son from me. I started this dirty business in the last three months. I was living with my mother for some months but at last started begging. One day a shopkeeper made an offer and I accepted. Each week he gives me one and a half lack Afghanis. I don't know where he is from and whether he has a wife and children. I don't take any kind of pleasure in sexual relations with him, but it is forced on me. I used condoms to prevent getting pregnant, but in spite of that, I am four months pregnant now. My mother doesn't know any thing about my relationship with that man. WH: I have been doing this for the last two years; I am widowed and must feed my children. I started with cooking and washing clothes but our condition was very bad. At last I got in touch with a woman who was a prostitute for a long time. She encouraged me to leave that hard job and do this business, which is full of money. My first reaction was to refuse, but later on, when our condition worsened, I accepted. When I did it for the first time, I felt very bad and cried for many days. I am in contact with a number of men who give me money. I have been forced to do this and feel no joy while doing it. I am taking pills to keep myself from becoming pregnant. I always fear letting anyone, including my children and neighbors, know about my relations. If the neighbors find out they will throw me out of this area. I am very afraid of getting AIDS or any other sexual disease; that is why I do this only in time of need. I am in touch with many women who are doing this dirty business and all of them are widows. I know Jamila who was killed by one of the Taliban's commanders. She had a relationship with the commander but when he found out that she had relations with other men, he killed her. AH: My husband divorced me five years ago. I gave birth to two daughters but he wanted a son. With two daughters I faced a lot of problems. I started with washing clothes but at the end fell into this net. I have been doing this for more than two years. I am in contact with a man who has a showroom and he gives me money in return for sexual relations. He has a family, wife and children. I am using pills to avoid conception and I am a heart patient as well. My older daughter is 14. In order to keep her safe from these things, I arranged her marriage. But because of bad luck, her life is more bitter than mine. Her husband is young and inexperienced and he and his mother do very cruel things to her. My daughter usually comes to share her pain with me. She is now a teacher in a RAWA literacy course. RAWA report on Prostitution Under the Taliban :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 1:57 PM [x] :: |
| l Friday, August 23, 2002 |
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Again, straight into Blogger...
Back on LotR and the hoyay... have you seen Enya's May It Be video? She sings, "may it be when darkness falls you heart will be true". Well, for the "heart will be true part", what LotR scene do they show but a Boromir and Aragorn one... with subtext. Noo... they didn't do a shout-out to the millions of LotR slashers at all (just do a google for it, and see how many sites come up. It's seriously scary). :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 9:09 PM [x] :: |
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Typing this straight into Blogger (gulp) so excuse the tpyos :)
We have a grape fruit tree in the backyard. But last year, none of them were very good, so Mum and I (the only people who eat them in the household) have been a little dubious about picking them. We tried one today, reasoning the tree was loaded and we could send them to the church's op-shop if they were any good (bet you thought I was going to say if they were horrible, didn't you). Cut in half, it was as big as my hand. Seriously. This grapefruit was a good 15-20cm in diametre. It was HUGE. And Juicy. And yummy!! So I think I'm on a trip to grap fruit-heaven over the next week or so. I don't know if I get all the diety-goodness they're meant to have because I add sugar, but they're still better than coco-pops for breakfast, right? Jill Singer wrote a fabulous article on how much easier it is for white Zimbabwe refugees to get into this country than Afghani or even back refugees from Zimbabwe. And how we want to send the black ones back there. It was in today's Herald Sun... I'll have to try and track down a link online, because it was fascinating reading. New obsession. Plagerist.com -- it's a poetry site. I'm in heaven there. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 7:17 PM [x] :: |
| l Thursday, August 22, 2002 |
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Damn Peter Jackson. Damn him to hell. The more I watch Fellowship of the Ring, the more I'm convinced he's geared Aragorn/Boromir and Sam/Frodo for the slashers. There's wa-hey too many scenes that just scream SUBTEXT. And this is from someone who refuses to see subtext in most cases. I like things in black-and-white.
I'll openly admit I have a penchant towards broody heroes. Angel. Heathcliff. Mr. Rochester. Mr. Darcy. Hamlet. I loves my rugged look. I loves the brood. Aragorn embodies all of it. And let's face it, Aragorn/Boromir have all the yummy goodness of Angel/Spike. Boromir is always slightly grey, with his longing for the ring... Aragorn so stunch in his defence of Frodo... their arguments... it's got all the elements that appeal to me in Angel/Spike, without the Buffy to get in the way. Okay, Faithgirl would argue that there's Arwen, but when the chick's away the boys *will* play... The slasher in me is way on it's way to being well and truly outed, though... I'm CLexing (I'm also an advocate of this yummy threesome for Clark/Lex/Chloe... the best of all worlds)... I'm Brian/Michael, I've always adored Willow/Tara, I'll read Buffy/Faith, I'm into Angel/Buffy/Spike, I adore Giles/Wes, and I watch M*A*S*H and I'm doing the Hawkeye/Trapper thing. I'm in a very sad place in my fandom life. I have to wonder what J.R.R. Tolkien would say about the subtext, though. Actually, no I don't. He'd be mortified I see it that way... given his theology (he was a theologian along with C.S. Lewis, if you didn't know... C.S. Lewis dedicated The Screwtape Letters to him) and how conservative it was, anything that indicated the slightest homosexual relationship between his characters would have him spinning in his grave. I'm off to google for some more of that yummy slash fanfiction. Who knows, I may yet be inspired to write an NC-17 scene between Spike and the JossBot.... but I doubt it very much. And Blogger seems to be eating half my archives. Damn the thing. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 7:48 PM [x] :: |
| l Wednesday, August 21, 2002 |
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Natasha Stott Despoja resigned as Democrats leader today (warning: political rant ahead).
I'm sorry, but that pisses me off. The demise of the Democrats pisses me off. I voted for the Democrats last election, because she was leader. Because she had morals. If Meg "GST" Lees was still leader, there would be no way in Hell I'd have voted for them. I would have given serious consideration in giving One Nation preference over them. Meg isn't a Democrat, she's a fucking Liberal. Nat, at least, stood by what she was elected on. She didn't get elected going against the GST, and then pass the damn thing ASAP, without even holding out to have books exempt. Please. Give me strength. Meg rejoins the party, my already wavering support between the Democrats and the Greens will have swayed way over in favour of Bob Brown. I had a longer rant on this subject, but it was in the car and I'm quite interested in what they'll say about this on The Panel. We had the funeral today. I had a long list of things I was going to say about this, but now that I'm sitting at the computer most of it's left me. The Panel's about to start... will try to remember during that and type it out afterwards. We had the funeral today. I cried. Heaps. I'm hopeless at funerals. The last time Mum and I went for the "day trip" for a funeral was for a close family friend's mother. I'd never met the woman, but I still cried buckets. Today I had a very soggy handkerchief. I'm utterly hopeless at funerals. Duclie played the organ... I couldn't do that. Not at my husband's funeral. But she wouldn't have it any other way... apparently she insisted on playing last Sunday, too, hours after he died. They're been married for 47 years on Tuesday, but they met when she was 13. He was 20 at the time. Can you see such a relationship today? The service lasted an hour and a half, and yes, that's long. But it was such a fabulous service... it wasn't an unexpected death, and they'd discussed it quite a bit... music was A Big Thing. It finished with The Church's One Foundation, which for those of a non-Methodist background is by Charles Wesley, who, with his brother John, started the Methodist Church. Like most Wesley hymns, it's got Big Music, and it's LONG. And, at Dulcie's insistence, we sang all. five. verses. You don't look at Duclie when you're the minister and you're announcing we're singing verses 1, 3, 4 and 5... she'll be sending daggers the like of which you've never seen before. And she's been the major organist at the church for nearly 20 years. But I love Wesley. He was late 1700s... it's the latter end of my favourite period in history. I'm a history geek, but I love looking at society at the time... very much a social sciences girl am I. My history time is either the 1900s... the world wars and the 1960s... or 1300-1800. It's the time I love and adore looking at. But Mum and I left home at 8am, dropping the 15-year-old brother off at school on the way through. Brother N. got back from a VET (Vocational Educational Training or some shit, but it's a sport-science thing for him. I think) ski trip yesterday, and was "too tired". Poor baby. </sarcasm> The best part about the "day trips" with Mum is that it's chick bonding time. We're in a car together for around eight hours all told... we bond to the sounds of The Corrs and Bon Jovi. Unless one of us are unwell or hormonal. Then it's WWIX (we've had 3-8) waiting to happen. We stopped at Chaddy, and yay me! For maybe the first time -- ever -- I went into Borders and didn't spend a single cent. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact I have maybe $50 to my name at the moment and the Pablo Neruda, Browning, Frost, Byron, Thomas etc. etc. I was drooling over started at about $35+ each. Remind me to thank Meg again for that. But Mum and I had the perfect lunch -- we halved the mango and yoghurt from Feeling Fruity and went to Gloria Jean's for cappuccinos and lattes. Is it scary that despite living 3+ hours from the nearest outlet I'm half way towards a free coffee on their regular sippers thing? Ah, well, at least it's not Starbucks. And Mum and I could drool over Russ teddy bears without Dad and the boys complaining. And Cardology had Christmas stuff out!!! That's wrong. Mum's madly starting her Advent Workshop preparations... she's running three. Again. We all tell her she's mad, and she's getting signs of stress already, but she loves doing it. She's a masochist, I swear. Although there's still nothing like the Montrose Advent Workshops. For those who don't know (the majority of the people who read this) Advent Workshops are a Christmas program that tells kids that Christmas isn't Santa's birthday, and my parents were part of the core group who started them at Montrose Uniting Church. Today they're run around the country, and some people visiting America one Christmas heard some of my father's songs written for them played over there in Carol services. Montrose gets over 350 kids to the program, which is more than the church can hold. They have to turn people away. The local primary school has around 250 children, which gives you a rough idea of the size. It was interesting going around after the funeral, because we were trying to say a quick hi to people and get going, due to traffic. It took us a good hour and a half to get going. Everyone comes back to the church for weddings and funerals... unfortunately, there aren't too many of the former and all too many of the latter.  :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 11:29 PM [x] :: |
| l Tuesday, August 20, 2002 |
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I'll start this by apologising for the "funk" I've been in for the last couple of entries. I go into one on occasions... and I think that various events, yes, they contributed to a couple of what I call "bad days", even if I wasn't directly involved in all of them. It happens. It started before those events, but let's just say they didn't really help that much. But I'm quite okay today, so I'll make an entry. I had a doctor's appointment, and I'm feeling quite good in and of myself today for some reason.
Which is going to make what I'm about to type all the stranger. My old music teacher's husband died. Mum and I, although we haven't been as close to them since we left Melbourne eight years (God, it was eight years?!) ago, feel that we should go to the funeral. I remember him quite fondly, and he always made an effort with me and brother N. so... I feel it's the right thing to do, as does Mum. And whenever I was in Melbourne and ran into Dulcie she always came up to me and asked how everyone was... it's the right thing to do. Dad, of course, thinks that Mum and I just want to go to Borders. So we'll get off the freeway at Warrigal Road, and have something to eat at Chaddy... we'll have just driven from Far East Gippsland, which is a good 4-hour drive, and we'll have left at 8am or so. Don't we have a right to refresh ourselves?! And... well... you can't go to Chaddy and not go into Borders. We'll probably get Dad his Father's Day presents then, too, but shhhh!!! I'm trying to design an invite to my 21st... not that it's going to be much of one. I've got a month to go, so they have to be done. I'll probably have a "chicks night" with Cat and Lizzie... I might try and get in contact with some of my other childhood friends, but... I don't know. I'm not really in contact that much with them, and I have a feeling it would just be awkward. That'll be the Friday night, though, and then we'll invite all the family and friends (the family ones) to my Grandparent's for a BBQ lunch on the Sunday. Nothing major, but my parents are convinced that, especially after I had such a low-key 18th, if I don't do something for my 21st I'll regret it for the rest of my life. So... 21st it is. And of course I'm designing the thing on the computer. Publisher's an arse, and I'm trying to make it so it'll look okay in B&W, given the number of family ones to be sent out. I've been typing out the Sonnets from the Portuguese for that elusive poetry section (I could cheat and use someone else's stuff, but I get to read them all again doing it this way!) and so I'm on a classics hit... Jane Eyre. I'm one of those horribly obsessive fans who picture B/A when reading a lot of the classics, though... I don't so much with Austen, but there's been some fabulous adaptations of those books (although I prefer the Emma Thompson version of Sense and Sensibility to the BBC one, and Emma sucks in any adaptation except Clueless -- Gwenyth Paltrow's version is only good for Jeremy Northam) and so I tend to picture those actors (two words: Colin Firth) rather than the BtVS ones... although I did once try and cast the BtVS cast mentally as the Pride & Prejudice characters, which was an interesting task. Anyway, like I said I tend to put B/A in some classics, especially with anything Brontë-related. Jane Eyre perhaps isn't as obvious as Wuthering Heights, but I still do so. But I keep warning Jane not to worry about the Darla in the attic or Miss Ingram (perhaps I should swap them and make it the Drusilla in the attic and Darla Ingram... I'll think about that), when she leaves it's *Mrs Fairfax* she needs to watch out for... I'm sure Mrs. F's name is Cordelia. And then the next thing you know she'll swoop in... Am I obsessive? You bet. And damn proud of it, even if it scares people. And scare them it does. I'm wanting to watch Much Ado About Nothing for some reason... will have to hire the video when we get back from the funeral. -------------- Well, just popped by ff.net, and I've got my first real, non-troll negative reviews. Aren't I lucky? Well, I can't honestly say I wasn't expecting it in this case (hence the delay in posting it there), but I got my first ever "Get Over It". Aren't I lucky?
Idiot Jed I respect the right to freedom of opinion, so I hope you'll do me the same courtesy. You've had your say, so here's mine. PLEASE. GET. OVER. IT. Sheesh. They've now been apart longer than they were together. Buy a frickin' clue.
Misled Youth That was pretty lame. I thought I was actually going to see a season 3 parody, not someone whine about how much better Buffy is for Angel then Cordelia. I was thoroughly disappointed. On a side note, Buffy's all done with Angel. First love's don't really last forever. But I don't want to see Cordelia with him either. He's supposed to be Brood!Angel not Dork!Angel. And season 3 made him even more of a Dork!Angel. So a REAL parody would be nice.
Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting it. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 2:43 PM [x] :: |
| l Monday, August 19, 2002 |
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Waahhh!!! Nobody's posting smut!! Why isn't anyone sending out smut?! Has there been a "no smut for Smurfy" day that no one told me about? Tango... no smut. Nothing from Trinity Last. New Journey from Margot, but NO SMUT.
So what's going on, people?! I want smut, and no one's sending any new stuff out! See me pout. And ganked from Starrkitty (she's only just started and I'm already pinching stuff!) 
Take the "What Kind of Southerner Are You?" Test! Created by 
MadShrubbery Well, Sharon can be proud of (or worried about) me. And maybe Reg can tell me what it actually *says* (and hence, whether I should take it down!). :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 3:41 PM [x] :: |
| l Sunday, August 18, 2002 |
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You are Princess Leia from Star Wars. You are very smart and very determined. You may have trouble letting your emotions show, though. You are very sensible but also very brave. You rock! Which movie heroine are you? You know, I'd feel a lot better about this (hey, I'd get to make out with Harrison Ford. What could be wrong with that?!) if it weren't for that whole Han/Leia=Buffy/Spike thing... and that I could see the season 4/5 B/S relationship in a couple of exchanges last time I watched Empire Strikes Back <shudder> Why did they do this to me?!?!?! :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:58 PM [x] :: |
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Blogger at my entry. Bastards.
Anyway, I'll pimp again. Because that's what it was. A pimp. For Wil Wheaton Dot Net. Yes, the guy who played Wesley Crusher. He's known as the Geek's Blogging King. I'm proud of my geekdom, and I find his blog to be compulsive reading. His entries are articulate, and I actually find myself addicted to the place. The other day he wrote on being called by Rick Berman, Star Trek's executive producer, to be told that his scene in Nemesis (Star Trek X) has been cut. It wasn't filled with self-pity, but introspection as to why it didn't seem to matter so much, and it finished with his step-kids playing in the driveway. But how scary is it that little Wesley Crusher just turned 30?!?! :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:33 PM [x] :: |
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Somehow, I've seemed to become apathetic towards this at the moment. I'm sure the phase will pass (I'm not giving it up!) but I think various events both in my online and offline life have made me regard this... I don't know. I'm not feeling like I have much to say, therefore I'm not typing in this on such a regular basis as I'd been accustomed too. I usually type offline, and here I'm typing in whilst I'm in the middle of everything else because I felt like I should be doing something with it. I don't know. Because of that I'm probably being even more vague.
I've got 'Send In The Clowns' going on the CD-Rom drive... the only song that could get me to put Barbara Streisand on repeat. The only song that got me to buy one of her CDs, actually. Whatever. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 9:21 PM [x] :: |
| l Saturday, August 17, 2002 |
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Forgot to add in (and can't be stuffed editing the other posts to get it all together because I'm bloody TIRED) a paragraph I found in an older journal the other day which I found v. amusing in light of this blog:
I read in the paper today that the practise of keeping a diary/journal is increasing. Some people even keep them online. Now *that* is something I couldn't do. The thought of millions/billions of people having access to my thoughts... I mean, I'm sure not that many people would read them, but all the same!!! -- 20th April 2001 :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 1:41 AM [x] :: |
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want to see which season of Buffy best describes your life? then take this quiz & others. this quiz was created by amber. <snort> like I'd have posted it if it was any other season... I have my pride... Brief update... failed my license test today. Go me! Just what I always wanted to do... Can't be bothered writing. Not much happening. Have been doing the HTML thing, and I love and adore Faithgirl's website. Just so you all know you have to visit, and see how she's been hiding her amazing ability to make fantastic wallpapers. Check out her LotR and Becoming one, especially!! And I love Ice Princess. Just so you know. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 12:58 AM [x] :: |
| l Tuesday, August 13, 2002 |
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My head hurts.
Sometimes my dependencies scare me. Well, they never did... but then when I was in Melbourne, I'd forgotten to take my prescription with me to Chadstone, and so I didn't have enough tablets. I couldn't take my medicine that evening (300mg Efexor-XR anti-depressant daily) and so it stuffed me up... I took them by midday the next day, but I was still having the dizzy spells and aches and other not-fun stuff of the withdrawals. Not to mention mood swings and shaking. Although my hands tremble most of the time... they just become more Ozzy Osbourne-like when I haven't had my tablets. Cat noticed this as we had coffee, and when I explained what they were all from she was rather shocked. She asked if this didn't bother me. Damn it, Cat, it didn't until you mentioned that it would bother you!!!! The thing is, I know how awful I am without the medication. I know that to go a couple of days without it (which I did... I went about 48 hours without taking the tablets once due to health-care card mix-ups and I could hardly walk straight and every time I moved my head it felt like my brain was spinning three times around in my skull) I go on a horrific downward spiral... there's a definite dependency there. I usually remember to take them. It's habit when sitting down to dinner with the family (we have family meals, even if it means we don't eat until 8.30pm due to everyone's schedule) to make sure I take them with the meal. But if we have a "knock-up" dinner -- get-yourself-something-on-toast ones -- we all eat at separate times, and I have trouble remembering. Or when we have take-out in the car when travelling etc. It's a change of routine and I just... forget. That happened the other night and I think I'm still paying the price. When I don't take them, that evening I have very weird and wacky dreams, and the night after I take them again my sleep will be disrupted and it gets very strange. For example, when my dosage was still fluctuating when I first started taking the tablets, I had a dream where Scully and myself were chasing Mulder in a white Volkswagen Beetle. It was... different, shall I say. I don't know where I'm going with this, or if it has a point at all. I'm just in a ramble-about-nothing mood and really, all I wanna do (is have some fun, I've got a feeling I'm not the only one)... actually, all I wanna do is curl up and sleep. It's just one of those days where I can't really be bothered with anything much. I don't even know why I'm bothering with updating this when I'm feeling the way I am now <sigh> Okay. Now that I've bought everyone down sufficiently (don't worry, I'm not at the stage where I'm going to head for the nearest rail-tracks or hide my razors from myself) I'll try and write something slightly more cheerful. If you've popped by my website, you may notice that it's been renovated a little, in more ways than just frames (frames!!! Wheeeeeee!!!). Which I'm still working on to make look more purty. But it's had a name change, to Maudlin Poetry, and I'm planning on putting in an archive of classic poetry that pertains to our favourite relationship (yes, I'm obsessed. Everyone knows that <g>). Like I said at the site, I'm looking at archiving Pablo Neruda (in English and in Spanish... I may have some typos in the latter though!), Emily Brontë, Emily Dickenson, Elizabeth Barrett Browning (because the Sonnets from the Portugese have *nothing* to do with B/A...), Shakespeare, I've got stuff by W. B. Yeats, John Donne, Sappho, Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Robert Frost, W. H. Auden to go there... the list goes on. It's a rather long-term project. My question is whether people can tell me about the copyright issues with this? If I source them will it be okay? I know there's hundreds of places online where you can find an author's poetry, and hey, it's a bloody fanfiction site so copyright is always an issue (just ask those lovely guys from Fox, bless their souls) but I'm just a little curious. Also, if you have any favourite poems pertaining to them, please let me know, coz I have a definite preference when it comes to poets, and they're generally English from the 1800s. Expansion of one's horizons is good for the soul. I'm also thinking of asking Lovebug if I can archive her stuff there, because the fact that she's not archived anywhere I can find pisses me off as much as Reg not having a site does. Although I *did* notice Starrkitty's doing Betrayer now... any chance of Distortion of the Dreaming, Before Eve, Beneath the Evergreens, Destiny, Knight In Shining Armour etc. etc. making an appearance there? At least go ff.net, girl!!! :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:16 PM [x] :: |
| l Monday, August 12, 2002 |
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There should be a law against bumping up stories when I'm "waiting on baited breath" for the next part. Stars91 just bumped up Indaran Warriors part 10, and for an ecstatic half-second I thought it was a new part. Let's just say that momentary high was *very* hard to come down from. Sigh. Why do I read WIPs again..?
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Okay. I have a question. I'm on... oh... 30+ B/A lists. I know that at least one of them has 900+ members. I know that any email going out to these lists collectively will be seen by a couple of thousand people, not mentioning those who just go to escribe for B/A Fluff. So am I the only one who has a massive attack of the nerves when it comes to sending out something to these lists? I've got this little thing sitting on my computer that I've been procrastinating on for weeks, and I know that it's more than ready to go out but because of the nature (a PTB satire) I'm nervous about it.
Okay. Deep breaths. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can... I know I can. How hard is it? You copy it into a new email window. You go to the address book and add in the lists it will go to. You press send. Okay. This is easy. So why are my eyes screwed shut and my finger hovering over the send button, unwilling to compress that little bit more that will send this document out into cyberspace, for hundreds of people I've never seen or heard from to view? I adore John Saffron's Music Jamboree. It's so corny. For example, tonight he looked into the old "Paul Is Dead" conspiracy theories from the old Beatles days. After going through most of them, he decided to break the news. The *new* conspiracy. George Harrison Is Dead!!! Look at the shadows in the Time memorial issue. The shadows are hiding neck wounds. The Herald Sun article, when you put it up against the mirror and then put that mirror image up against a mirror, it says "Beatle Dies". Coincidence? I think not. Maybe you have to have seen them going through the mirror images that proved Paul was dead, and the shadows hiding neck wounds. But the most amusing part was at the end, when they asked, "Did you know John Lennon and Ringo Starr are the only surviving Beatles?" Yes, you have to be in a quirky mood, but it's fun. My computer sucked yesterday. It wouldn't load ANYTHING. It drove me insane. So... in honour of computer suckage. ------ There was a knock on the door. It was the man from Microsoft. "Not you again," I said. "Sorry," he said, a little sheepishly. "I guess you know why I'm here." Indeed I did. Microsoft's $300 million campaign to promote the Windows 95 operating system was meant to be universally effective, to convince every human being on the planet that Windows 95 was an essential, some would say integral, part of living. Problem was, not everyone had bought it. Specifically, I hadn't bought it. I was the Last Human Being Without Windows 95. And now this little man from Microsoft was at my door, and he wouldn't take no for an answer. "No," I said. "You know I can't take that," he said, pulling out a copy of Windows 95 from a briefcase. "Come on. Just one copy. That's all we ask." "Not interested," I said. "Look, isn't there someone else you can go bother for a while? There's got to be someone else on the planet who doesn't have a copy." "Well, no," The Microsoft man said. "You're the only one." "You can't be serious. Not everyone on the planet has a computer," I said. "Hell, not everyone on the planet has a PC! Some people own Macintoshes, which run their own operating system. And some people who have PCs run OS/2, though I hear that's just a rumour. In short, there are some people who just have no use for Windows 95." The Microsoft man look perplexed. "I'm missing your point," he said. "Use!" I screamed. "Use! Use! Use! Why BUY it, if you can't USE it?" "Well, I don't know anything about this 'use' thing you're going on about," The Microsoft man said. "All I know is that according to our records, everyone else on the planet has a copy." "People without computers?" "Got 'em." "Amazonian Indians?" "We had to get some malaria shots to go in, but yes." "The Amish." "Check." "Oh, come on," I said. "They don't even wear BUTTONS. How did you get them to buy a computer operating system?" "We told them there were actually 95 very small windows in the box," the Microsoft man admitted. "We sort of lied. Which means we are all going to Hell, every single employee of Microsoft." He was sombre for a minute, but then perked right up. "But that's not the point!" he said. "The point is, EVERYONE has a copy. Except you." "So what?" I said. "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you expect me to do it, too?" "If we spent $300 million advertising it? Absolutely." "No." "Jeez, back to that again," the Microsoft man said. "Hey. I'll tell you what. I'll GIVE you a copy. For free. Just take it and install it on your computer." He waved the box in front of me. "No," I said again. "No offence, pal. But I don't need it. And frankly, your whole advertising blitz has sort of offended me. I mean, it's a computer operating system! Great. Fine. Swell. Whatever. But you guys are advertising it like it creates world peace or something." "It did." "Pardon?" "World peace. It was part of the original design. Really. One button access. Click on it, poof, end to strife and hunger. Simple." "So what happened?" "Well, you know," he said. "It took up a lot of space on the hard drive. We had to decide between it or the Microsoft Network. Anyway, we couldn't figure out how to make a profit off of world peace." "Go away," I said. "I can't," he said. "I'll be killed if I fail." "You have got to be kidding," I said. "Look," the Microsoft man said, "We sold this to the AMISH. The Amish! Right now, they're opening the boxes and figuring out they've been had. We'll be pitchforked if we ever step into Western Pennsylvania again. But we did it. So to have YOU holding out, well, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing to the company. It's embarrassing to the product. It's embarrassing to BILL." "Bill Gates does not care about me," I said. "He's watching right now," the Microsoft man said. "Borrowed one of those military spy satellites just for the purpose. It's also got one of those high-powered lasers. You close that door on me, zap, I'm a pile of grey ash." "He wouldn't do that," I said, "He might hit that copy of Windows 95 by accident." "Oh, Bill's gotten pretty good with that laser," the Microsoft man said, nervously. "Okay. I wasn't supposed to do this, but you leave me no choice. If you take this copy of Windows 95, we will reward you handsomely. In fact, we'll give you your own Caribbean island! How does Montserrat sound?" "Terrible. There's an active volcano there." "It's only a small one," the Microsoft man said. "Look," I said, "even if you DID convince me to take that copy of Windows 95, what would you do then? You'd have totally saturated the market. That would be it. No new worlds to conquer. What would you do then?" The Microsoft man held up another box and gave it to me. "'Windows 95.... For Pets'?!?!?" "There's a LOT of domestic animals out there," he said. I shut the door quickly. There was a surprised yelp, the sound of a laser, and then nothing. ------ After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following: Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac. Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99. Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke. Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled. Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke! Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free. Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week? Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke! Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke. Cashier: Then you can't have the burger. Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away. Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable. Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things! Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See? Joe: Why did you just do that?! Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods. Joe: Aaarrgh! ------ Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in reality there's substantially more information available through the rev-code than that. This article provides a guide for interpreting the meaning of the revision codes and what they actually signify. 1.0: Also known as "one point uh-oh", or "barely out of beta". We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We're praying that you'll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy. 1.1: We fixed all the killer bugs ... 1.2: Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too. 2.0: We did the product we really wanted to do to begin with. Mind you, it's really not what the customer needs yet, but we're working on it. 2.1: Well, not surprisingly, we broke some things in making major changes so we had to fix them. But we did a really good job of testing this time, so we don't think we introduced any new bugs while we were fixing these bugs. 2.2: Uh, sorry, one slipped through. One lousy typo error and you won't believe how much trouble it caused! 2.3: Some jerk found a deep-seated bug that's been there since 1.0 and wouldn't stop nagging until we fixed it!! 3.0: Hey, we finally think we've got it right! Most of the customers are really happy with this. 3.1: Of course, we did break a few little things. 4.0: More features. It's doubled in size now, by the way, and you'll need to get more memory and a faster processor... 4.1: Just one or two bugs this time... Honest! 5.0: We really need to go on to a new product, but we have an installed base out there to protect. We're cutting the staffing after this. 6.0: We had to fix a few things we broke in 5.0. Not very many, but it's been so long since we looked at this thing we might as well call it a major upgrade. Oh, yeah, we added a few flashy cosmetic features so we could justify the major upgrade number. 6.1: Since I'm leaving the company and I'm the last guy left in the lab who works on the product, I wanted to make sure that all the changes I've made are incorporated before I go. I added some cute demos, too, since I was getting pretty bored back here in my dark little corner (I kept complaining about the lighting but they wouldn't do anything). They're talking about obsolescence planning but they'll try to keep selling it for as long as there's a buck or two to be made. I'm leaving the bits in as good a shape as I can in case somebody has to tweak them, but it'll be sheer luck if no one loses them. ------ BTW, I've conquered frames... completely. Yay me! I've redone my website completely with frames, and I'm bloody proud. It's also got the little snark-fic I *am* going to send out. Because it's easy to do so. Uh-huh. Nothing scary about it at all... :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:54 PM [x] :: |
| l Saturday, August 10, 2002 |
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I always have problems with AOHell and connection droppage, and Jennem's having the problems at the moment, too, so this is for her.
If AOL were a city - You'd live in a place where no two people had the same name, and all were h0t 17/f cheerleaders with a fetish for pierced gay Dobermans in spandex. - You'd only pay $19.95 a month to live there, but half the time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck. - Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door salescreeps offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99 - The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your yard. - 48 hours after moving in, your mailbox would be overflowing with special offers, promotions and discounts from www.cuntsmack.com - The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known resident. - The local post office won't forward your mail to you when you move. - The administration would kick you out of town for cursing after one of those brutal toe stubs. - If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week later with a form letter saying how you "really are important you are to us". - The administration would tell your boss to either pay up, or move his slack-ass company somewhere else. - Everyone on the street would have something to do with kiddy porn, and this business would account for 75% of all city revenue. - Every time you went to the mall, people would run up to you and violently scream M/F??!!, AGE/SEX?!?! or g0t PH1SH d3wd?!11 while little kids called your cell phone saying "Wanna FUCK?" - Those that didn't do that would call you and say " Hi, I'm j0e hax0r from the town council. We had a database crash and lost your tax records. Please give us your address and the key to your house or we will be forced to evict you and your family." - Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a bouncer screaming 'WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE" - Whenever you travelled to other cities, people would see your license tag and laugh behind your back. - even your 3 year old son would know the intimate personal details of the town security expert. - You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation, but that it's really the Earth's fucking fault. - The local McDonalds sign would be realistically changed to "McHax0r Wuz H3r3" and "Gr33tz 2 K}It0sawruz" almost daily. Police don't investigate, but do show up with little scrubby tools, or just remove the sign altogether. - Half the kids in the day-care you use are thinly disguised fat, hairy, drooling, diapered men holding sacks of candy. - Your daughter would disappear to the No-Tell Motel every night, and you'd foot the bill. - Putting up controversial art in your home would result in the police bashing in your door, throwing your ass on the floor, and kicking the shit out of you while saying "Ya got two chances left, dickface. ROFLMAO LOL!!" - You'd send your kids to school for history, math and science, but they'd wind up studying ph1shing, one-handed typing, and annoying acronyms. - You'd not have any idea who your neighbours are, and most new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox with crap, and vacate before sunup. - The administration would secretly sell off chunks of their personal land in the city, while buying up neighbouring cities with imaginary funds. - The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly demanding money while ripping down the swings and beating the fuck out of kids currently playing there. - Don't forget the AOL playground, which is locked so that the kiddies can not get out "for safety reasons", and then hordes of perverts are allowed in. - The police would work for free out of some sort of "duty" to the city, but would secretly only be doing it for the free food stamps. - Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout "HEY! YOU DO WANT A GODDA*N AOL VISA, DON'T YOU?" To which you say "no". The voice then replies "OK, I'LL ASK YOU TOMORROW". - A trip to the local library would find you a few ancient doom 2 patches, commercial pix of Pamela Anderson Lee, and a viral copy of PkZip 2.04g - Community events would be periodically interrupted because of the speaker randomly flying out of the meeting hall and appearing several minutes later with some stupid comment about a Punt Monster. - Your neighbours would be called to leave on pilgrimages to a mystical land called USENET, where they would bleat the virtues of your fair city. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 1:57 PM [x] :: |
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Today is International Hug a Dawny day. So go and hug her.
:: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 1:28 PM [x]
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| l Friday, August 09, 2002 |
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 Well, I'm back and I *think* my brain's in working order again, but I'm afraid that you won't really be able to trust me that much on the subject. I've recovered from the extended bus and train travel, though... I think.
Click on the Australian Minister for Immigration and Multicultural and Indigenous Affairs, the not-so-Hon. Philip Ruddock, to the left here and you'll see the entire cartoon. Australian's especially might find it sad/funny/true, but I think it's a pretty universal one... it's been done a bit, I saw a similar one in The Age, but I adore Mark Knight and I think this one is the better one, so nyah! It was published in the Herald Sun a week ago, on Friday 2nd August, but I didn't have a chance to scan it in until recently. Okay, how's this for amusing in a rather strange way? My little time-away was a visit to Melbourne. Yes, I count going to Melbourne as a holiday. And any Melbournians reading this will be laughing in disbelief, I know, but I live in the country. The country, you'll find, is a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there. I love going to Melbourne for a). Borders, b). decent coffee (I live in the town with the highest ratio of eateries per resident, but there's only one place I'll go to get a coffee), c). shopping, d). catch up with friends, e). Borders, f). coffee. I stay with my old childhood best friend when I go to Melbourne. It's a great way to catch up, and I get to see her mother then, too, who's also a bit of a friend... I practically lived with them for the first thirteen years of my life, and we're interchangeable in each other's families. Anyway, about that amusing thing (no, that wasn't it). I was watching the TV with Lizzie, and an advertisement for About a Boy came on. She made a comment whilst watching that Hugh Grant was kind of hot... for an old guy. My reaction was one of "and how old's ASH again..?" I'm someone who drools over Sean Connery still (he's like a good wine... the older he gets, the hotter he is. Although I do think he peaked in the late 90s...) and Harrison Ford. Hugh Grant's *young*. When I mentioned this, though, I think Lizzie decided I was a little strange. I caught up with Cat, who I went through High School with (and she has this blog's addy now, so everyone wave). I think I scarred one of her housemates for life, though... we were burning some of my CDs and I had the CD holder I took to Melbourne with me (I was spending hours on public transport... I needed *lots* of music), and he came across my Buffy soundtrack. Now, I know I'm obsessed ("really? Never would have guessed" say the crowd) and I *try* to control myself, especially around people I don't know. Most of my family and friends know I'm just insane and accept my obsessions, but when it's someone I've never really met before I do try not to be too obsessive. Really. But I'd been without a chance to obsess here or anywhere for four days, and I'd been writing JossBot and I was getting the shakes from the withdrawals (I considered paying $12 an hour for internet access to get rid of the cravings)... I think I scarred him for life. I don't think "control" or "minor obsession" is any way to describe what I said <sigh> I was looking at my horoscope (Virgo) for August the other day... one of those incredibly vague ones that fit anything and anyone. Yes, it fits me: You may feel like coasting at the moment, but life isn't a matter of luck or chance. You have to grab it with both hands and go out and make things happen. The foundations you lay at this time will bring recognition in the future. I spent a grand total of one semester in Uni at the start of 2000, before my first breakdown kind of put a kibosh on that. It was the start of the more serious manifestation of my depression there, when I would sit all day in my room staring at the walls, my only real contact with the outside world via a couple of newsgroups... I left my room to get food and eat, and try to keep up a semblance of normality to family (who were hours away) and the few friends I had contact with... I didn't sleep, I didn't socialise... it wasn't the greatest time of my life. Anyway, because I'm more academically minded etc. etc. I've been looking at VTAC and all that... I was going to go back last year, but I let it all coast on and I've been kicking myself ever since. Of course, the scary part now is that I'll be in the same intake as my younger brother, and there's something really terrifying about that. But applying again to VTAC will mean that I have to "face facts", and I've never been very good at that. I have to decide on a course again, and find a way to make it work. Whether it's correspondence, or trying to survive in the big, bad world once more. I've attempted this twice, and both times wound up having a breakdown in a suicidal state and... let's just say it wasn't terribly successful. But if I don't do this, I'll have to face an eternity in this stagnating state of an existence I'm ashamed to admit to. In brighter moments, here's my Magazine Mistake of the Moment, from August's sain magazine. It's a case of spot-the-error. "Motor Ace songs are also used in TV sitcoms such as The Secret Life of Us ('Death Defy' is its theme song) and Buffy the Vampire Killer, finding them a wider audience." Yes, I choked a little on that <g> Although I'll let you decide if I choked on the 'killer' or the description of either of the shows as "sitcoms". I had another driving lesson today... my last one until I take the test next Friday. The instructor thinks as long as I don't panic, I'll pass... it's just the panicking thing is rather hard for me to avoid. I just hope that I don't fail, given it's costing me $190 I can't really afford. Final comment of the evening, as per usual with a Friday, goes to Wil Anderson on The Glass House, on George Pell reiterating that abortion is a worse sin than child sex abuse. "George, George, George, someone with his head stuck as far up his arse as you should lern to keep their mouth shut. When questioned, God said the views of the Catholic Church did not necessarily reflect the view of the management." :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 10:50 PM [x] :: |
| l Thursday, August 08, 2002 |
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I was going to do an update talking about my time away (which was a massive catch-up time in Melbourne, FYI) because... well... it might prove that I do, on occasions, have a life, so to speak. However, I spent this evening watching LotR, and... blog? What blog? I have a blog?!?!
Now I just have to spend an age crawling the net for Sam/Frodo and Aragorn/Boromir slash... normally I have to be converted to this way of thinking (my Watchers being the exception) but watching the film today... I think I definitely have an inner-slasher waiting to emerge. Fanfiction.net, here I come!!!! I've got a headache from frames. I think I'm finally starting to *almost* grasp the concept... stress on the almost-part. Sigh. I'm just corrupting someone else's HTML, and I don't get it and... see, I had a headache from trying to figure out a java-window, and since I couldn't get that I decided to give frames a go to make the java window easier and I think my logic got skewered somewhere along the line BUT I got what I wanted in the end. I think... But in any case, given what my trial-and-error stuff did to me, I'm sending massive pity-waves out to Nariya, if she reads this. I swore to myself that I wouldn't read any of LotR books again until I saw the film for said book, because I like watching films independent of the book (I always, always, *always* like the book better than the film) and it's been years since I read any of them, anyway, and... well... it's something that makes sense in my mind. Then I realised that there's still 140 days until Two Towers and... fuck that!! :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 11:14 PM [x] :: |
| l Saturday, August 03, 2002 |
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Okay, I'm heading off for a couple of days, so don't expect more of my not-so-thrilling posts here :) Although when I get back, I'll probably have an analysis of the UN's report into Woomera Detention Centre (which can be found here) sometime then.
So the "soapbox savant" wasn't too wrong after all... < sheepish > Three cheers for Alanis Morrisette!! She's doing a big benefit-thing for RAWA, so me happy :) And J, you're escaping nice and easy here -- I was thisclose to doing a rant on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and a link to anti-FGM sites this time around, but I'm out of time. :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 12:08 AM [x] :: |
| l Friday, August 02, 2002 |
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Is there an emoticon for "shaking in your boots"? I just got back from a driving lesson, and they want to book me in for a license test in a fortnight. Gulp. Not sure this is a good thing............
:: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 1:19 PM [x]
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| l Thursday, August 01, 2002 |
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  Do *You* Need A Boob Job? |
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Smurfy's Lament (to the tune of Fur Elise)
Why does my computer hate me now? Because it crashed It crashed again Oh, why does my computer hate me now? It just won't hold It only crashed to be continued... :: Smurfette blogged for peace @ 2:56 PM [x] :: |
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